An Apology: Our Problematic Middle Child

It is hard to be a parent, especially if you got more children to manage.  There is no one formula that fits in raising all of them in one household.

 

We, parents, are humans, too, and we are also bound to make mistakes. We may even sometimes end up discriminating against one of our children because of many reasons such as frustrations regarding attitude and/or school performance.

 

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Neglecting Your Child 

As a missionary, I’ve been to different places, met different people, spent time with different families, and played with kids and listened to their stories.   

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I see it myself now, how parents care differently for their children depending on their financial status, cultures, and educational backgrounds.   According to Raquel Anderson, LMHC, “A parent is the most important person in a child’s life. It’s never too late to make changes to ensure you’re raising your child in a safe, healthy, and loving environment.”

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I Caused My Daughter To Be A Kleptomania 

 My marriage is on the rocks, so I just decided to end up the relationship.   I decided to keep my child and raise her by myself.   

 

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It’s not easy to be a single mom.  I have to work shifts just to make both ends meet.  I feel tired all the time, and I hate being disturbed.    Continue reading I Caused My Daughter To Be A Kleptomania 

Tips On How To Help A Child Deal With A Narcissistic Mother

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Many people loosely use the term “narcissistic.” According to Heather Stevenson, PsyD, “I think that the word gets thrown around a lot. A person can have narcissistic traits and not have the personality disorder.” Some individuals believe that this word just refers to a characteristic of having too much love for one’s self. However, there is so much more that comes with this term. According to clinical psychologist Aimee Daramus, PsyD, “Narcissism is a personality style in which people have a powerful need to be the best, most important in the room.” Narcissism is a mental health problem that could make the person involved to become more distant to the people surrounding him. According to Kelsei LeAnn, PsyD, “Narcissistic Personality Disorder is defined as someone who lacks empathy for others, and they crave admiration. They’re often described as pathological liars, self-centered, manipulative, controlling.” At the same time, this illness can also result in some violence or harm for those close to him.

 

In the United States, a divorce between married couples is allowed. There are many reasons why a husband and wife would end up going separate ways. One of the common causes is the psychological incapacity of one of the parties to the marriage. Narcissism falls under this category.

 

If you believe that your partner has this condition and you both have decided to get a divorce, then do not worry because you made the right decision. However, you have to remember that your kids will be affected too. Therefore, it is essential to protect them from a narcissistic parent. Here are some of the things that you could do:

 

  1. Never Blame Yourself

 

Let go of all the regrets and what-ifs. The first step that you need to do is to get over the negative experience in your life. Take note that the more you get stuck with the failed marriage, the more it will be difficult for your kids to continue with their lives. Always remember that divorcing your narcissistic ex-wife was necessary. Otherwise, both of you will only live a miserable life.

 

  1. Show Your Support To The Children
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Your children have a high tendency to feel envious of what the other kids have. This is because of the influence that they may get from your narcissistic wife. As such, it is essential that you show them your support at all times. Make them feel that they are good enough. Remind the children that happiness must come from within and not from the validation of others.

 

  1. Listen To Concerns of Your Kids

 

Make it a habit of asking your kids about how their day went. Inquire whether there was a significant event that happened recently. Doing this will give you an idea if they are having a hard time in school or other aspects of their lives. Keep in mind that the pressure of having a narcissistic mom is too high. Make things lighter by striking up a conversation that they could all relate to.

 

  1. Help The Children Grow Better

 

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Growing up with a mother who has narcissism has adverse effects on the kids. They may get the attitude or acquire some personality traits from their mom. Because of this, they may throw tantrums whenever they do not get what they want. The best thing to do is to help them grow as responsible members of society. Remind them of the proper ways on how to act in every situation. Teach them to be sensitive to the feelings of other individuals.

 

Be sure to follow all the items listed above for the benefit of your children. Be a good example for them.

 

 

Verbal Abuse in Children: Types and Effects

Disciplining a child is hard work. According to Dr. Jennifer Hartstein, PsyD, “Discipline is a necessary thing in  life, for certain, and how we engage in it is important in building positive self-esteem and a healthy sense of self in children.” It involves reaching a balance between being an authority figure as well as somebody who loves them unconditionally. However, inadvertently parents may be caught off guard on not so good days and can verbally lash out at others, and this might include his/her child. The offense might sound minimal as compared to any other type of abuse. Oftentimes, parents might also rationalize their behaviors and temper as something out of their control brought about by the everyday stress of taking care of the kids as well as juggling their other responsibilities. Experts negate this frame of mind stating that any abuse is not justifiable.

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A Cry For Help: Dealing With Abused Children

 

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One of the worst things that can happen to a child is experiencing verbal, physical and emotional abuse from his own parents. According to Christine Hammond, LMHC, “Emotional abuse is just as damaging as other types of abuse, if not more so because it leaves no visible scars. Instead, the wounds are deep and can take a functioning person and turn them into traumatized.” It can be disheartening to see a child, in his tender years, to be subjected to any form of aggressiveness or brutality. Obviously, the practice of child abuse by parents is widespread in society.

However, only a few people can dare to stand up against abusive parents and to help the kid in need. Do not be like these individuals. If you see a child who is abused by his mother or father, make sure of these things:

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A Teacher’s Guide To Handling An Abused Child

The beautiful thing about being a teacher is that you get to inspire children to grow up to become successful individuals. Most of their dreams are developed while they are in the classroom, talking with their friends and listening to your lessons. These students of yours look up to you for inspiration, which is why most of them may treat you as their second parents.

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Child Abuse: How Can It Affect Its Victims?

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A child who has gone through a lot of abuse and violence at home will most likely experience trauma. According to Suzanne Burger, PsyD, “Trauma is best understood as any life experience or enduring conditions that overwhelms a person’s nervous system and emotional capacity to manage it.” There are many adverse effects that are associated with child abuse. As you probably know by now, there are different forms of harm that a particular kid may encounter such as physical, emotional, and verbal. The causes of the infliction of this abuse may vary from one situation to another. However, when it comes to adverse effects, these are almost the same. Check this list:

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Hiring A Caretaker And Possibility Of Child Neglect

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There are many forms of abuse that a child may experience in his lifetime.  Not everyone knows but child neglect is a form of abuse. According to Marie Hartwell-Walker, “Children who are constantly ignored, rejected, threatened, or belittled grow up without the inner resources that everyone needs to cope with difficult times.” Many parents spend most of their time working in the office or managing their business. Because of this, they barely have enough time to care for their children. This is the primary reason why some parents prefer to hire someone to watch over the kids when they are busy.

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